The New Year is supposed to be a time of fresh starts and big plans—losing weight, saving money, and learning new skills. But what happens when you’re excited to turn over a new leaf, only to find yourself repeating old habits and falling back into patterns you thought you left behind?
For many of us who carry unresolved trauma, New Year’s resolutions can highlight how much pain and doubt we still hold, even when we try to move forward. I know this struggle firsthand. For years, I’d fill my journals with ambitious goals—everything from eating better to hitting the gym. But each year, I found myself unable to stick to them, like something deep inside kept pulling me backward.
When Old Trauma Fuels New Resolutions
Sometimes, the desire to set goals can be fueled by a sense of lack or shame that stems from past trauma. In my case, living in poverty meant that basic hygiene wasn’t always a priority or even an option. As an adult, when my trauma is triggered, one of the first things to slip is self-care. Tasks as simple as showering or brushing my teeth can feel impossible, even though I know, logically, be a dthey’re necessary.
Setting a resolution like “take better care of myself” sounds great until I’m triggered. Suddenly, the very thing I was determined to improve (my health and hygiene) became the first thing to go. And the worst part? I’d beat myself up for not “trying hard enough,” never realizing that my trauma response was sabotaging me from the inside out.
Key Insight: Old pain can derail even the most well-intentioned resolutions if the root cause—unprocessed trauma—is left unaddressed.
Self-Sabotage: Then vs. Now
Over the years, my self-sabotage has evolved. In the past, I was hungry for attention, drinking excessively, and seeking validation from all the wrong people. Today, my self-sabotage is less dramatic but still damaging: staying up too late, neglecting to drink enough water, or skipping meals.
It’s easy to assume these behaviors are just “bad habits.” But I’ve learned they’re usually triggered when something from my past resurfaces—memories, feelings of being “not enough,” or reminders of times when I lacked control. If I don’t deal with those triggers head-on, it snowballs, and before I know it, I’m sabotaging my well-being.
Reflect: Ask yourself, “How does my self-sabotage look today compared to the past?” Recognizing the pattern is the first step toward breaking it.
Limiting Beliefs & Feeling Stuck
Old trauma doesn’t just appear in actions; it seeps into your thoughts. During times of stress or transition—like the New Year—I’ve found myself wrestling with limiting beliefs:
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “I’ll never get this right.”
- “I don’t have anything to offer.”
These thoughts create a mental loop that convinces me things will never change. One of the best ways to break out of that cycle is to remember God’s promises. Reflecting on how God has worked in my life reminds me how far I’ve come. While I can’t erase the past, I can trust that change is possible because I’ve seen glimpses of healing already.
Try This: Write down at least one positive change you’ve experienced in the past year. Whenever limiting beliefs pop up, re-read that list and thank God for the progress.
Acknowledging Trauma Without Blame
One of the most complex parts of healing is accepting that it wasn’t your fault, but it is your responsibility to heal. I’ve often felt it was my fault—these are my feelings, body, and choices. But the trauma was something done to me or something I lacked growing up, which means the root cause isn’t on me.
However, not being at fault doesn’t mean we have no role to play. Healing is generational work; it breaks cycles that have possibly been passed down for years. You’re only responsible for your part in this work—not everyone else’s and not the entire history that led you here. That truth is freeing because it means we don’t have to carry the weight of fixing everything, just the piece that belongs to us.
Encouragement: If you feel overwhelmed by the idea of healing from what you didn’t cause, remember you’re taking one brave step at a time—each small victory makes a generational impact.
Faith as a Foundation for Change
Faith has been the lens through which I see my healing. Scripture reminds me I’m loved, seen, and chosen. Prayer helps me refocus on the truth that God’s strength meets me where I am—especially in my weakness.
When I’m trapped in self-sabotage or spiraling into limiting beliefs, I pause and pray something like this:
“Heavenly Father, remind me that I am not alone in this struggle. Help me slow down, recognize where old patterns are creeping in, and trust You to transform my mind and heart. Strengthen me to take the next small step toward healing.”
Whether praying, reading the Bible, or simply meditating on promises of hope, faith replaces the narrative that “nothing will ever change” with a promise that anything can change when we couple faith with grace-filled effort.
Creating Trauma-Informed Resolutions
So, how do we set resolutions that acknowledge our trauma rather than ignoring or minimizing it?
- Start Small
- Instead of “I will work out five days a week,” try “I will move my body in a nurturing way twice a week.”
- Build momentum with tiny, achievable steps.
- Check In Regularly
- Schedule weekly or monthly “check-ins” with yourself. For example, set aside Sunday evenings to sit quietly, journal, or pray. Ask: What went well this week? Where did I struggle?
- Notice any triggers or limiting beliefs that show up, and approach them with compassion.
- Celebrate Small Wins
- Each time you follow through on a goal (like brushing your teeth regularly, drinking water, or going to bed earlier), pause and thank God for that step forward.
- You could jot it down in a journal: “This week, I brushed my teeth every day, even when I felt overwhelmed. Thank you, Lord, for the strength to do so.”
- Lean on Support
- This might be a trusted friend, support group, or counselor. Consider involving them in your goal-setting process.
- Share your struggles so that you’re not carrying this alone.
Faith in Action: Next time you catch yourself slipping into old patterns, pause and offer a short prayer. Ask for help to see the lies you believe and replace them with the truth of who you are—a beloved, capable child of God.
Final Thoughts: From Trauma to Transformation
You’re not lazy or incapable if you’ve struggled to keep New Year’s resolutions. Sometimes, old wounds cast long shadows that reach into the present. Healing is a courageous choice—a daily commitment to acknowledge the past without letting it define who you are now.
Yes, it takes work. But your work to heal doesn’t just set you free—it can help generations after you live with less pain. As you enter this Year, give yourself the grace to move slowly, the faith to believe change is possible, and the willingness to own your part of the healing process.
You deserve resolutions that honor your story and your worth. It wasn’t your fault, but you have the power to heal and grow, one small step at a time.
Ready to create resolutions that honor both your trauma and your transformation?
- Share one small step you’re taking this year in the comments below.
- Contact your support system—therapist, mentor, or faith community—and invite them to walk alongside you.
- Keep track of each small win, celebrating how you break old patterns.
Remember: You don’t have to carry this alone. Healing doesn’t erase the past but can transform how you move forward.
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