I will be real with you—I’m struggling to love people.
Not just in a “Jesus loves you” bumper sticker kind of way. I mean, actually love people—be patient, kind, forgiving, and gracious. All of it.
Because sometimes? People suck.
They flake. They lie. They hurt you. They disappoint you. They show up when it’s convenient and disappear when it’s not.
And the flesh in me—the part that’s still healing from trauma, still tired of giving chances, still just plain over it—wants to be done. I want to cut them off, protect my peace, and move on.
But as a Christ follower, I can’t shake the tension: I know that’s not what I’m called to do.
So I’ve been wrestling.
Wrestling with my pain.
Wrestling with the call to love.
Wrestling with Jesus’ example.
If you’re in that space, too, I want to share what’s been helping me hold onto the truth even when my heart is tempted to harden.
1. People Will Fail You—and Jesus Loved Anyway
This has been hard to sit with lately: Jesus loved people, knowing they would fail Him.
Judas betrayed Him. Peter denied Him. His closest friends deserted Him in His most significant moment of need.
And what did He do? He still broke bread with them. He still washed their feet. He still went to the cross for them.
I read that and think, “God… I can’t even text them back right now.”
But I also feel the invitation to love not because they’ve earned it but because He did.
2. My Trauma Wants to Cut People Off, while my healing wants to Lean In.
I’ve learned that my first instinct isn’t always truth—it’s often protection.
When people disappoint me, I feel an urgent need to disappear, to ghost, to block, to emotionally check out.
It feels like safety.
But sometimes, it’s just trauma in disguise.
Now, that doesn’t mean I have to keep toxic people close. But it does mean I need to pause and ask:
Am I cutting this person off out of wisdom or woundedness?
Am I choosing this from the Holy Spirit or my triggers?
The answer matters.
Because healing is not just about removing people who hurt me—it’s about learning to respond from love instead of fear.
3. Loving Like Jesus Doesn’t Mean Being a Doormat
Let me be clear: Jesus didn’t let people walk all over Him.
He called things out. He set boundaries. He spent time alone.
So, loving like Jesus doesn’t mean tolerating abuse or pretending things are okay when they’re not.
It means I can forgive without reconciling.
I can pray for someone without inviting them back into the most intimate parts of my life.
I can hold space for love and truth at the same time.
This is something I’m still learning—how to love without losing myself, and how to stay soft without staying stuck.
4. When I Don’t Want to Love, I Remember the Grace That Found Me
Sometimes I need to remember that I’ve been the person who sucked, too.
I’ve been the one who flaked.
I’ve hurt people I love.
I’ve said the wrong thing. I’ve ghosted. I’ve failed.
And Jesus loved me still.
Not because I got it right, but because He is Love.
That grace? That’s what I’m being asked to extend to others.
Not because they deserve it—but because He deserves to be reflected.
5. Prayer Has Become My Lifeline
There are days I don’t have the strength to love people well.
So I’ve started praying, not just for them, but about my heart toward them.
“God, help me not to grow bitter.”
“Help me love like You when I want to shut down.”
“Remind me that this is not about them—it’s about who I want to become in You.”
Some days I still fail.
But each time I choose love over resentment—even just in thought—I believe something in me is becoming more like Jesus.
Final Thoughts: Love is the Long Road
This isn’t a victory post. I haven’t arrived.
I still wrestle. I still pull back. I still want to shut the door and be done.
But I’m learning that love—real love—isn’t just a feeling or a reaction.
It’s a decision. A process. A practice.
And for those of us walking with Jesus, it’s the only road that leads to life.
So if you’re struggling to love people who’ve hurt or disappointed you—same.
But let’s keep trying. Not for them. For Him.